February 11, 2004

Dear Jimmy,

Well, Groundhog Day has come and gone yet again for another year and we missed having you and all them hot rod boys here for this year’s goat roast.

Your cousin Brim was asking after you and did I think you saw your shadow or not. I asked him why in the world would he want to know something like that and he said that if you saw your shadow, it meant six more weeks of Foggy Mountain Breakdown. That Brim always was a card and he had a big laugh out of that one, but when he saw that I’d already starting cooking the goat, he got real quiet and serious.

You know, Jimmy, Brim and me has been arguing over how to cook a goat for near about 20 years. Now, I should’ve a kept my mouth shut, because he did furnish the goat this year and they say you shouldn’t lick a gifted horse in the mouth, but it just runs all over me the way he thinks he knows everything about cooking.

I saw him in the Piggly Wiggly last week at the meat counter and he was saying he won’t going to eat no more beef because it might have been a mad cow! He said he read it on his inner net, whatever that is. Now, Jimmy, you know your old mama is the most caring kindest-hearted person in the world, but I don’t think a cow’s feelings really matters that much, do you? I don’t know.

Maybe it’s like the Reverend Norman says and it’s a sign of the in times.

But on this goat business, Brim and me both go along with making a big fire and letting it burn down, and we both get a big old piece of that wavery sheet metal, like on top of the chicken house, to lay the goat out on.

But right there is where I would wrap cardboard around the goat and pour hot vinegar on it and then cook it. But no sir, your cousin Brim wants to soak the cardboard in cold vinegar and then wrap it around a goat that has already been cooking all morning. Jimmy, you see how this could just tear a body all to pieces!

Is it cold vinegar on a hot goat or hot vinegar on a cold goat? Of course, everything always turns out fine. We vinegared it and then cooked it and then vinegared it again. The goat was all right, but we ended up throwing away most of it and eating the cardboard.

How I do go on! Jimmy, when are you all going to be on television? We got it fixed since last time you all were here. Well, we didn’t actually get it repaired, but we found out that if we had your Uncle Titus sit right next to it the picture cleared up as good as a new one.

You remember Titus, he was in the Big War and has that tattooed metal plate in his head? And when he puts his hand on the rabbit ears, we can get a color picture, but we couldn’t ask him to sit there like that all the time, so we just settle for black and white.

Well, I’ve got to go now, Jimmy. This new woman in our circle is coming over to rearrange the furniture and pictures and all. I think her name is Fran Sweet or Fanny Shoe or something. She’s says moving things around will change my whole life!! I’ll tell you all about it next time.

Be careful and remember that you’ll always be my baby and that I wouldn’t give nothing for you.

Love,

Mama