February 14, 2005

Dear Jimmy,

There is just almost too much going on around this place to tell about. I was in the Piggly-Wiggly last Tuesday and I ran into Pappy Golucky over by the wine section. It’s for a recipe, Jimmy. And if your dear daddy were still alive, I’d tell him the same thing! Pappy’s been working at the "Hoggly Woggly, (ha ha) since he retired last fall and he had some sad news for a lot of us.

Pappy’s oldest girl child, Polly Sue, has closed down her Rub-a-Dub-Dub Rubdown Downtown Drive-In Palace of the Massage and Chicken Delite there on the corner of First and Federal. Didn’t she used to sponsor you all on that radio show? But don’t go feeling sorry for her. I hear she got a pretty penny for that piece of land. Walmart is going to build a Super Walmart on that whole block.

Not just a Walmart, Jimmy, but a Super Walmart! I can’t wait. They sell stuff in Walmart that nobody else will sell. Of course, some folks, like Reverend Norman, will really miss Polly Sue. He used to go see Polly Sue on a right regular basis. He has that bad back you know, from kneeling so much, I reckon, and you can’t get the Golucky Special Massage in a Walmart.

Yes, the Reverend Norman Tabernacle is back from Raleigh and his job as prison chaplain. He said that he was doing such a job that they extended their first 90 day contract with him to three months. He is such a sensitive human being and so tender-hearted for a man. Jimmy, I remember one Sunday when he was preaching about "having lust in your heart". Well, we sang the last verse of "Just as I Am" for the fourth time and none of the regulars had come down yet, Your daddy, rest his soul, used to call them "aisle runners". He could be so mean sometimes.

Then I heard a sound like a backward cough and looked around. Polly Sue was coming down the aisle, looking like her poor heavy heart would bust. She knelt down on those little steps for the Reverend to lay his hands on her. But, you know, he was so full of compassion for her troubled soul that he turned all red and flustered and ran off the pulpit to pull himself together. Jimmy, we just don’t know what we’ve got in that man.

I think I have a joke for you. Pappy’s middle girl, Happy, asked me last week if you still played the banjo. I told her you did and why. She is such a card! She said, Well, today is Ground Hog’s Day. If he sees his shadow, we get six more weeks of Foggy Mountain Breakdown!" I laughed, but, you know, sometimes she gets on my nerves.

Love, Mama